I was in a relationhip that lasted for several months recently. A girl I was really hooked on. We got along really well, we had a lot of fun sexually, and actually I was so involved in her and my work that I've sort of let this blog go for too long.
She got busy, had a lot of family and other issues, and the relationship suffered fatally. We ended it on good terms, so now I'm back to dating again. I don't mind, as it gives me a chance to have a different kind of fun, and my search for someone I like to have in my life full time offers me a chance to play with a lot of different women sexually. It's not even as empty as one-night stands, it's a chance to get to know a woman from every different angle. To see if she can be my partner in every way, from fun to talk to and hang out with, travel with, and when we're sufficiently alone to have wild, passionate sex. A lot.
I have to be careful, I don't want anyone to get hurt. I have to be up front and honest. I admit that I am ultimately looking for something long-term, but until I find it, I'm dating many women to find someone who has the level of self-esteem, drive, passion, adventure, and just plain fun that I'm looking for. And that I expect that any woman I date will also be dating others in search for what they're looking for.
Being busy and not getting out that much, and still not being that good at approaching women, I have been using a couple of the online dating sites. One free site, and one paid one. It's funny, my lack of approach skill seems to have carried over into my lack of ability to write a profile that attracts the upper echelon of looks in the sites. It does signify to me that I at least need to be a little more adventurous to have more stuff to talk about. I have been very adventurous throughout my life, but the past couple of years I've been much more conservative. I have to change that.
On the dates I've been on, carefully talking online, then via phone, then meeting works really well. We already know we have things in common, so grabbing a beer or coffee or dinner somewhere allows for hours of good conversation, which I'm also very open and honest about, and steer it toward some sexual talk with an air of fun. Women always sense my true intentions, that I'm interested in sex with them, not just in sex with anyone with tits and a vagina.
I like to go for the first kiss during the date, often right at the table. You get a good sense of what she'll be like in bed that way. And the same goes for her. You can really telegraph your abilities that way. Learning to be a good kisser may be one of the most important things. I love kissing, and love doing it al the time in a relationship. Ten years in, I still want to be making out like we did when we started dating.
Usually once I kiss a date, the deal is sealed. But I often don't go for it if I'm not sure of the girl. If she understands it's not leading to a commitment, at least at this point, everybody will be happy. If she hesitates, I won't go for it, because I'm like sexual heroin. Not bragging, I've worked hard to learn what I know about bringing pleasure to women. It turns me on as much as it does them.
I'll outline my recent dates in upcoming posts. Follow along and comment, too. I want to hear thoughts and experiences from men and women.
